Reality

I haven't written on here for awhile. A lot has changed since then. For one thing, I met a pretty amazing person who is the reason why I'm even bothering to make this post, if you're reading this; Hey! :) haha okay, moving on now

What's incredibly irritating to me is how sometimes, even if it's not in our best interest, we are forced to face reality. Sometimes bad things happen to people who don't deserve it. What are we supposed to do when you're faced with a problem like that?

Firstly, surrond yourself with people who make you happy. End of story. There's nothing worse than being in a bad mood and being around people who don't make you feel any better. Whether that's one person or several, make sure you're with them. They only have you're best interest and all they will do is try to make you smile.

Is step one done? Yeah? Then keep reading.

Grief can be described in 4 stages:

1. Denial — “This isn’t happening to me!” or “There must be a mistake" 
Denial is first and always temporary.Oh the joys of stunted emotional growth! Denial entails refusal to accept the reality of the situation, facts and/or information. How do we get through it? We accept things as they are, whether we like them or not. Have you accepted reality? Keep reading if you have.

2. Anger — “Unfair!” and “Not cool!”
Anger can present in many different ways. Self-loathing, outward hostility, and watch out if you’re close to someone in this stage – you’re in the splash zone. Bring your poncho and remember to try and stay nonjudgmental during this trying time. Usually when people are angry, they avoid people, hoping that the problem they're facing will be avoided as well. That is not good. This is when the role of surrounding yourself with good people becomes handy. FIND SOMEONE TO RANT TO! Let out every single last bit of your feelings until you literally cannot find anymore angry to consume yourself in.

3. Depression — “What’s the point… in anything?”
During this stage, the true nature of the situation becomes apparent. This tragedy is going to befall us whether we like it or not. Usually, we don’t like it – because of this sulking, crying, screaming and other Lady Macbeth-isms become apparent. Live in this space baby. Eat those bean and cheese burritos. Order those two large pizzas. Revel in it. This, in fact is a good thing. It shows acceptance of the situation and emotional reactions are normal to the processing of life changes. Live it, learn it, love it. Then take a much-needed shower.
Being upset is a good thing. You will endure it, I promise you. You'll learn so much about yourself and end up being a better person because of it. Again--- find friends to let out all your sadness to. Call up someone to eat that pizza with you, watch that movie and play that video game. It's so much easier when you have someone who is willing to be there by your side.

4. . Acceptance — “I think I can, I think I can,” and “I am empowered. I am okay.”
Ahhh, acceptance. It presents differently for everyone, but you’re finally ready to get back on the horse. You’ve grown. I believe in you.

Life Skills 101

When I finished watching  Lara Croft: Tomb Raider I was blown away. I quickly sensed that here was a cinematic masterpiece. It was everything I had ever wanted in a movie. It had Angelina Jolie playing a wealthy heiress in a very tight cat suit. She had endless amounts of time. She had expensive gadgets. She had a mission. I wanted to be her.

I was so impressed. Now there is someone who is prepared for life, I thought. Lara Croft spoke the native language of Cambodia. Of course she did. She’d spent years learning it just in case it ever came in handy. And what do you know—she needed her random language skills when she least expected it.

That’s how I wanted to be: prepared for anything, like Lara Croft. I wanted to be strong and confident in odd situations, to not lose my head when things got tough. 

And things do get tough! Even when (unbelievably) you don’t end up being a tomb raider with piles of money, there are some Life Skills that are really, seriously helpful to have under your belt. You never know when you’re going to need them.

I can think of tons of Life Skills you’d be real happy to have at random times (starting a fire in the woods without matches, changing a car tire, figuring out if a mushroom is poisonous), but here are nine major Life Skills, in no particular order, that my friends and I agreed that we’ve randomly needed in our college-and-beyond lives so far:

1. Introducing Someone Well

At some point, you’ll have to do introductions that don’t go like this: “Everybody, this is Kim. Kim, this is everybody.” Sooner or later, you are going to need to introduce someone you want to impress to someone who is important to you, or introduce two people who you are certain would loooove each other, and the way you introduce them matters!

Introduce these two people with old-fashioned, 1950s-party-hostess style and grace. Include something personal, non-superficial, and interesting about each person when you do it, and act like they’re the two most important and fascinating people in the world.

No: “Jenny, this is Matt. He loves blondes with big boobs. Matt, this is Jenny. She has blonde hair…and you can see the rest hahahha.”

Yes: “Jenny, this is Matt. Matt has a black belt in karate, but he won’t show you any moves unless you really beg him. And Matt, this is Jenny; she’s one of the funniest people I know—we were actually just talking about what happened to her at the calculus finals on Friday. OK so Jenny, what happened?”

BOOM! They have two possible conversation topics, they’re both fascinating…and you quietly excuse yourself, you Grand Puppet Master of Matchmaking.

2. Really Apologizing

We all screw up, and when we do, the way we apologize is important. Now, no one has to accept your apology—that’s their right. But! No matter how sorry you are, you can make things a hundred times worse by using one single word: IF. Watch!

You didn’t invite your less-popular-but-very-good friend to your house for a sleepover on purpose, because more-popular girls are coming and they think she’s weird. You tried to hide it, because you know not inviting your friend is an assy thing to do, but she found out and now she’s pissed and not speaking to you.

Bad apology: “I’m sorry if you feel left out, or like I didn’t want you there or something.”

Look at you! You’re not sorry! Look at that if! You’re basically blaming her for feeling the way that you made her feel. “I’m sorry if you…” is a shit apology. You’re sorry? BE SORRY. Don’t blame the other person or use sneaky words like if to shift things around to sound like you’re not really to blame. Apologies involving the if word tend to turn into major fights, because one person believes they are trying to make amends, and the other person doesn’t hear any actual sorry-ness.

Good apology (always happens in person, btw): “I’m sorry I didn’t invite you to my house. That was a shitty thing to do. I won’t do that to you again. I understand if you’re still mad at me.”

Look at all those I words. You did the bad thing, you take the blame. Nice!

So that's what I've got so far, of course you're going to encounter a lot of other things in life that these 3 points don't necessary cover, but it's a start no? 

I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend x

3. Throwing a Punch

Sad but true: someday, you might need to hit someone. There have definitely been times in my life (hi, college) that I needed to get a boy off me, like right then, and I wish I would have known how to throw a good punch to make him see things my way. Now, I’m not saying go pick some fights, or punch someone for insulting your mother, but knowing how to throw a punch that means business is a good skill to have under your survival belt. I mean, make no mistake: please try to not fight. Get away; run from fighting if you can. We’re not talking fighting for the sake of fighting. We’re talking a good punch to stop some fighting, or to get yourself the hell away from someone who is physically all up in your business.

When throwing a punch:

• Use the hand you write with.

• Make a fist with your thumb outside, not tucked inside. If it’s tucked inside your fist, when you punch someone, you might break your thumb. The thumb goes across your fingers, not on the side.

• Don’t be like in the movies—don’t aim for the face. Face punches don’t usually stop people, and you can miss when they duck their head or break your hand on their jaw. If you want to get away quickly, or end a fight, aim for the chest, or the ribs. If you really want to do some damage, e.g., you’re being attacked, aim for the throat, which will make it hard for your attacker to breathe for a hot minute.

• When you punch, you want to aim and hit with your first two knuckles. Not the flats of your fingers, and not your ring or pinky knuckles, which can break more easily. You can use your weight, if you’re on your feet, to add wallop, and spring into a punch with your feet and torso.

So that's what I've got so far, of course you're going to encounter a lot of other things in life that these 3 points don't necessary cover, but it's a start no? 

I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend x

at this moment, there are 7,012,501,221 people in the world. 

some are running cared, some are coming home, some tell lies to make it through the day.

others are just now facing the truth.

some are evil men at war with good, and some are good struggling with evil

7 billion people in the world, 7 billion souls, and sometimes all you need is one.

fate doesn't care about plans

if something is meant to be, it will be. i don't know about you, but i'm a firm believer in fate. everything happens for a reason, and sometimes the reasons aren't very clear. some we find out almost immediately, and some we live our whole lives trying to figure out. why you met someone, why you lost someone, why things happened the way they did. i'm constantly thinking about this. but ultimately, i know that everything ends just the way it's meant to. nothing i do can change the outcome. it always ends well, and if it doesn't... well, it's just not the end. it's that simple. 

it was fate when i met my best friend. i don't know if she remembers how we first met, but i always will. and it's a moment i will always remember too. no matter what happens in the future, i met her for a purpose. everyone comes in your life with a purpose. truth is, i don't know where i'm going with my life. i'm just taking it day by day. but having a friend always by my side makes life all the more enjoyable. yeah, stuff happens and people change. but when i always have her to turn to, it makes me feel like i'm not a complete screw up. it makes me feel like i'm doing something right. it makes me happy that someone wants to actually be with me. so for that dear friend, i thank you. i thank you for everything you've ever done for me. you are the most incredible person i've ever met. i know i haven't known you for long, but does that really matter? when you care about someone, it doesn't matter how long they've been around, what matters is how long they choose to stick around.  everyone has someone in their life that makes them look forward to the next day. thanks for being that person for me. thank you for helping me except that things change. thank you for remembering all those little things about me and not because i remind you, but because you actually pay attention. everytime i go somewhere or do something i think "you should be here with me" and i think of all the things we promised to do and all the places we said we would do because the truth is, i miss you so much.

anyway, i guess what i'm trying to say with this post is that fate has a way of figuring things out. and fate helped me meet you and i couldn't be happier.

good night :)

irony of people

it's like every time you get over someone, there's always something that reminds you of them that pops up... then you get emotional, and you start hating your life at that second, and everything seems to be just shit. I hate that. I hate that so much about relationships. I mean, they're amazing in the beginning but you're going into something KNOWING you're setting yourself up to get hurt. It's ironic how we search for the good in everyone and then we end up getting the sadness and the morbid moods that come with it. it's like the side effects of the real prescription. We're wanting something positive to come out of it so badly that we don't care if that happiness only lasts so long...

aw.

go out of your way to make someones day

 i really love making people happy, smile or laugh. it feels good to know that i was able to brighten someone else's day. i think being someone else's source of happiness or laughter is the best feeling ever.i love seeing the smiles on their faces and i love knowing that i was the one who helped put it there. it's not really the idea of self satisfaction, but it's more of having the knowledge that i was able to give someone else joy. so whenever you can, try to make someones day. you never know how much it means to them